School runs

IMG_0117Second daughter to Father: “Dad, I am really late for school, can we go now please? I need to get there at 8:20 to make it for registration.”

Father: “Amhariccccc…speak to me in Amharic, how many times do I have to tell you? If you keep talking to me in English I will dye’vorce you.”

Second daughter: “Dad, hehe, its ‘divorce’ not ‘dye’vorce.”

Father: “Dye’vorce, dye’vorce, dye’vorce…who cares, it is not my ‘mazur’ (mother) tongue! Ok, let’s go.”

Second daughter whispers: “If he didn’t care so much then why insist on us getting good grades at an ENGLISH school, huh…I tell you!”

First daughter: “I don’t know, let’s just go, it’s late”

Mother: “Ok, see you later girls, have a good day, I love you. Kiss, kiss”

Mother to Husband: “You…don’t drive like a maniac and kill our children!”

Both Children get up give Mother kiss on both cheeks.

Mother to Husband again: “Pleaseeee…calm down for once in your life, THANK YOUU, BYEEE”

Father with a wry smile: “Of course darling”

Mother turns her back and Father makes strangling gestures towards her neck. When she turns to face him, he gives her a wide fake smile. She smacks him on the shoulder.

Mother shouting to Husband: “THANK YOUUUU, BYEEEE…out all of you!”

Children hurriedly grab school bags and semi-run out of the dining room. Father follows closely behind.

First daughter asks seriously: “How do I look?”

Second daughter: “Ok, I guess”

First daughter: “OK!? What’s wrong with it?”

Second daughter: “I mean, its fine. Looks a bit tight at the…down by the…well, kinda everywhere. How do you wear this all day long?”

First daughter: “Oh that! Everyone dresses like that now duhh! Except you who refuses to part with your sweatpants and hoody…”

Second daughter smiles widely and gives sister a thumbs up.

They climb into the car and start driving.

Father speeds off as usual.

Second daughter: “Faster, Dad, faster!”

Smokey Robinson CD plays in the car: ‘Tears of a clown’

First daughter: “Tears of clownnnn…when theres no one arooounnnd. I love Smokey!”

Second daughter: “Yea whatever, when are you going to enter the 20th century, isn’t he dead?”

First daughter: “No he is not! He can’t be, is he Dad?”

Father: “Amhariccccc!! Girls, this is the last time I am telling you. If you don’t speak only Amharic from now on, that is it!”

First daughter: “Ok…’yechesew‘ (literal meaning for the smoking) Robinson’en, ewedewalehu (I like)

Father laughs heartily and continues driving.

They come across a slow vehicle on the road in front of them. It is slowing them down.

Father honks: “Move out of the wayyy, what are you doinggg?”

Honks get longer and fewer in between.

Father: “If I don’t get around this guy, we will never get anywhere all day!”

Father sees an opening on the road and very quickly maneuvers around to pass the car.

Father looking in the rear-view mirror at the car behind him shouts: “Son of a b****!”

Excited second daughter: “Dad…Dad it’s a woman!”

Father without hesitation: “Woman of a b****!”

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