Father pointing to the roof: “You see that?”
First daughter: “What? The roof?”
Father: “The roof?! You see, this is why you are hopeless, useless! The big lamp that’s hanging on the roof, stupid!”
First daughter: “Oh, that big black thing, yeah sure. What about it?”
Father excitedly remarks: “That is a top-of-the-range motion sensor lamp”
First daughter: “Oh, yea, you mean those ones that light up when something walks past it…like a thief”
Father: “Precisely…or more specifically, your 17 old daughter walking past it at 5am after gallivanting in the night”
First daughter smirks sarcastically.
Second daughter: “Really cool, dad!”
Father: “Thank you my darling, the only one who appreciates and listens to me. Ever since…”
Mother interrupts: “Ok, can we go back inside now, THANK YOUUU”
Father: “Honey…HONEYYYY…this is one of the best motion sensors, probably one of the best in the worl’led”
Second daughter: “Dad, its world, not worl’led. There is no ‘e’ in world…hehehe”
Father: “Shut up, you!”
Mother: “Ok, time for dinner, let’s go everyone”
First daughter whispers cautiously to Mother: “So Mom, is it still ok if we go out tonight?”
Mother: “Is your cousin coming with you?”
First daughter: “Yes, he will be here anytime now”
First daughter: “Did you tell Dad?”
Mother: “Yes, but you can tell him too, no worries…tell him.”
First daughter: “Uhh”
Second daughter: “Yes, tell him. What’s the big deal?”
First daughter: “Oh shush you don’t understand anything!”
Second daughter shrugs and skips along inside the house.
After dinner, Cousin arrives.
Mother to Cousin: “Hi sweety, how are you? How is the family? How is Mom? Does she feel better? How about you, how is the new job? Keep strong ok? You are doing a great.”
Father to Cousin: “Well, there is nothing left for me to say except goodbye”
Cousin giggles and greets Father warmly.
Shortly after dinner, first daughter winks at cousin indicating it is time they head out.
Cousin to all: “Eshi (Ok), we better get going Auntie, thank you so…”
Power goes out before he could finish the sentence. The room darkens.
Father shouts: “Oooooooooooo…the power went out!”
Mother: “Yes, we can see that”
Second daughter: “Oh man, how am I supposed to watch my movie?”
First daughter in a panic: “But I can still go out, right Mom?”
Mother to Father: “Did you get fuel for the generator?”
Father: “I thought you were going to get it?”
Mother: “Sighhh…you told me yesterday when I called you that you were going to get it that afternoon”
Father: “Yes, but then that thing came up and I had to run to that thing so I couldn’t make it…which reminds me about that other thing…”
Mother: “Oh nevermind, I will get it tomorrow. Let’s hope there are some candles so we don’t fall all over ourselves!”
Cousin runs back into the dining room: “Uhhh…cuz, we have a problem…I can’t start the car”
First daughter: “What??”
Father: “No surprise…that’s not even a car, it’s a disaster!”
Mother gives Father a look that could kill.
Cousin: “Uncle could you please take a look at it?”
Father: “And why should I? So you two can go and masturbate all over the place in a car that is barely a bicycle?
Second daughter bursting in laughter: “Dad…I told you that’s not what masturbate means!”
Mother: “She told you…why do you have to say it? You do it on purpose, I swear”
Father shakes his head convincingly at Mother. Everyone bursts into laughter.
Father smiles cheekily: “Stop laughing all of you chicken faces! You, get a flashlight and let me look at that thing. Bring me my toolbox too.”
Cousin: “Thanks Uncle”
Father and Cousin are bent over the open hood of Cousin’s car. Cousin is assisting, unsuccessfully.
Father: “What is wrong with you? I said point the damn light towards my hands…this is useless!”
Cousin: “Ok, I’m sorry Uncle, it’s just hard for me to be still”
Moments go by.
Father: “Ouf, you did it again! That’s it, this is not going to work. We need more light. Where is the guard?”
Guard: “I am here sir”
Father points to either end of the garage: “You, walk up and down the garage”
Guard in thorough confusion: “Excuse me sir?
Father repeats slowly: “Walk up and down the garage”
Guard carefully asks: “Just up and down, sir?”
Father shouts: “Yesssss…up and down…before I make you up and down!”
The Guard proceeds to walk to the other end of the garage.
Cousin curiously asks: “Uncle…can I ask why you told him to walk up and down?”
Father: “So that he permanently activates my new motion sensing lamp, of course.”
Cousin and First daughter in unison: “Of course”